A good book is Tom Hindle, Managing Meetings, Dorling Kindersley.
Presbyterians believe in Moderation A major responsibility of a moderator is to ensure that the mind of God is discerned through the voices of the people of God, so that all are heard fairly in the process. This requires active listening, and guiding the group through to taking responsibility for decisions. Moderation is a skilled form of leadership, it is not about abdicating responsibility.
Observe meetings that you consider well run and make notes to yourself on how they do it. Talk to the Session Clerk about how they do things in your first parish, and go with that until you have the confidence to change it. Let people have their say, bring them on task, ask for a resolution when that seems right, hold out if it is not, stop when you said, get a small group to work on things if they look sticky. Pick up pieces, especially those who feel hurt, afterwards. For people you disagree with keep the disagreement in formal meetings, and be careful about sorting them out in the car park afterwards.
Cultures of meeting, decision and mediation have changed enormously. Some church councils have not caught up with that. People whose professional life is used to structured process (eg lawyers, those in politics) will expect something similar in the church which can be useful or it may be a pain. In rural communities Federated Farmers may provide models to be aware of.
When there is uncertainty about how to process an issue, it can be helpful to use the authority of the moderator to summarise a situation, suggest a process, and make a decision. If you need to stop and talk about how to handle something, then say that is what you are doing and do it. If a meeting is seriously disruptive you can close it or adjourn it.
Most meetings today are less formal than they used to be, but effective meetings are more carefully structured than they may appear at first sight. In a good meeting the chair knows exactly what is going on, where they are going, and when they intend to finish, and who is going to be able to get their piece in before that time comes.
Apart from routine business, one good discussion on one serious issue in one meeting is a high score.
Make good use of small groups, short meetings for routine stuff, and retreat style for the more tricky.
Make meetings fun. Start with affirming each individual and allowing them to say something about how things are for them. But don't allow this is to go on - you actually have other things to do as well.
Don't linger when you don't need to. Remind people of time-frames. "We are going to be out of here by 9.30."
It is OK to recognise differences and acknowledge that some of us see this, others of us feel this.
There is a time to pray, but prayer is about facing issues and seeking help, it is not about manipulating those who disagree with so they get they message they are arguing with God not you.
Some sticky things can be left for informal discussion in a tea break and come back to them later.
Usually the chair is more about moderating process than setting outcomes.
Breaking the "rules" when you know what you are doing may be fine, provided you also take responsibility for the outcome and the quality of the decision-making which results. However sustained failure to follow procedure without knowing what rules you are breaking will almost always get a parish into trouble.